*long post*


This is Mao Mao:

And he wrote an interesting piece of essay last friday.

Love

what is the reason to live in this world? i always thought to myself. i excel in everything [editor's note: REALLY!?!?!?!]: studies, sports, and things which everybody considers important, but i still feel empty deep inside me [editor's note: maybe he was hungry], despite having all the attention in the world. it was that very day, when i first saw her, that i knew why i was born into this world. the true meaning of my life...

she had long, black hair, an adorable smile that brought warmth into my heart and big round eyes that immediately captured my attention. she is the type of girl you often see in japanese anime. she is flawless. everything else in the world did not matter to me - except her. to me, nothing can be compared to her... not even my own life.

i followed her everywhere [editor's note: STALKER ALERT!!!]; secretly, of course. after school, i would always wait at the same location for her to appear to sit at the exact same place to have her lunch. i found out alot of things about her; from her likes and dislikes to what she was feeling. behind that warm smile of hers is actually sadness, an indescribable kind of sadness.

the worst time of her day was when she is at home. shouts and arguments could be heard coming from her house, and from time to time, she would run out of the house and spend a few hours at the playground nearby until it was dark. the warmth of her smile would slowly fade away and i would feel terrible seeing her like that. what never fails to cheer me up, however, would be when she finally goes back home at night, because that would mean that she is, at least, safe and sound.

finally, one day, something happened. it was at night when i heard shouts coming from her house again. she ran out of the house but instead of walking towards the playground, she ran in the opposite direction, towards the main road.

i followed close behind her, unsure of what she was going to do. then i saw a beam of light coming at a fast rate towards her. it was a car! i tried to warn her but it was too late. i summoned all my courage and pushed her out of the way. the last thing i saw was the fear in her eyes; and then, i lost consciousness.

when i woke up, i found myself lying in the [where else?] hospital. she was beside me, exhausted after keeping vigil by my side for the past few days. a sense of joy filled my heart, the part where it was previously empty.

from that day onwards, i cherished every moment with her. it is the beginning of a new life.

My super-imaginative tuition teacher, Miss Tan Jieying:

She came up with these super funny endings which made us laugh of a long time.

The End
okay, i totally didn't get why the fast-approaching beam of light has to be a car. i postulated to amos the possibility of scenario A (described below) happening, and i started laughing before i even finished the story. soon everyone was laughing with me (and that included people like wilson, adeline, wenbin, wenyuan, and amos, of course):

Alternative: Scenario A

then i saw a beam of light coming at a fast rate towards her. it was a car! i summoned up all the courage i had in my scrawny little body and pushed her out of the way. something collided heavily into me, and i felt my breath being knocked out of me. i saw flashes of light. is this how dying feels like? i wondered.

ting ting... something chimed.

it must be heaven's bells. the angels are singing for me.

and then i heard a man's voice. i thought it might be God. but erm, surely God doesn't speak singlish?

'EH, ah boy ah, what you think you doing, suddenly rush out liddat... see my bicycle! all because of you lah, you okay anot... not even bleeding.. why you look so stunned? oy. oy. OY!!!!'

i saw the bicycle, with the uber bright headlights. i saw the bicycle wheels, still spinning crazily in the air. i saw the bicycle bell. i glanced up at her, hoping she'll understand that all i was trying to do was to save her life.

she gave me a tight slap. the sound reverbrated throughout the neighborhood and cut across the silent night like a knife through butter. even the uncle winced.

'what did you think you were doing! you see, you ruined my dress! were you following me? YOU FREAK! don't let me see you again within ten-meter radius of me or i'll get my boyfriend to hamtump you!'

The End

you see. original, and funny. bright lights doesn't necessarily HAVE to be a fast-approaching car/truck/lorry/motorcycle (delete where appropriate). we had a good laugh out of this and i think i was the one who laughed the most. HAHA. i went back home, still chortling over the story amos wrote, and i thought of Scenario B, another possible reason why there were bright lights:

Alternative: Scenario B

then i saw a beam of light coming at a fast rate towards her. it was a car! i summoned up all the courage i had in my scrawny little body and pushed her out of the way. something collided heavily into me, and i felt my breath being knocked out of me. i saw flashes of light. is this how dying feels like? i wondered.

'ouch!'

i heard the heavy thud of something falling to the ground. i stared at the policeman in absolute horror. the torchlight he was holding fell with a clatter.

'OH MY -' i could scarcely conceal my shock. 'I'm so sorry, i thought you were a car!'

'you thought i was a what?' he looked offended. i saw him put a restraining hand over his wobbly, extremely visible pot belly. i gulped.

'erm, no, that's not what i meant...'

'alrighty boy, i don't know what you have in mind, loitering around so late, but i'm bringing you to the station..' and he handcuffed me. i was terrified. the cool metal burned like acid on my wrists.

i stared at her crazily. 'save me! save me!' i sobbed. 'i'm not a criminal!!!!! no! no! NOOOO~~~!!!!!!!' i screamed as i was dragged forcibly away.

I was still laughing at it as I read it.